Sunday, September 03, 2006

A Lesson For Life

“10 rupees for 10 guavas; 10 rupees for 10 guavas “………….. Squeaked three little boys running alongside our car. They held a small packet of freshly plucked guavas and the boys were virtually poking their heads inside the car to make a sale ………. .

I was sitting in the back seat of my car half asleep under a pile of sweaters and jackets which I was using to batter the Saturday eve mist of Munnar. Jostled from my sleep I could see my mom making the purchase from one of the boys. As the car was taking a stiff turn the other two boys kept on running and my mom was in a fix trying to explain that she didn’t want more. As the car picked up speed slowly I heard one of the boys ask “Mam do you have a pen; a pen he was virtually yelling!!”

The car finally moved on and I was fully awake now .We moved on for half a km and I was still thinking as to why the boy wanted a pen in the middle of nowhere and then it hit me …………… The kids were out there selling guavas they had plucked from the forest to buy a set of pen for their school. Maybe because I was raised on the parable of the Good Samaritan all through out my life that I ve always tried my best to be one ; or that being a boy scout in school; that age old scout ritual of …. ‘One good deed a day ‘ has still stuck on after all these years i asked the driver to stop and I got out to see if I could go back to give them some money to buy the pen but they were not to be seen . Tears welled up in my eyes all of a sudden ……………….there I was sitting behind my car enjoying the niceties of life and there outside were a couple of kids running around on a Saturday to gather whatever they could to buy a pen ……..of all things .

I got inside the car and I just sunk into my seat …………….. and the first thing that came pouring into my mind was this

One of my fav quotes ever

I cried because I don't have a shoe until I saw a man without feet.

It’s so true we all cry and whine about our sneakers and clothes and wat not

Oh these shoes suck ……………. I wish I had a Gaitonde

Oh boy I wonder who stitched this dress.

Oh the coffee aint hot enuf .

The service at that hotel stinks..

I hate the café food they serve ……………

See we whine and we whine and we whine .The lives we all lead can be summed up in a sentence

Gimme a million dollars ………….. Well u cant make me happy but can make me a millionare .

Well I guess that’s the blatant truth --- eternal happiness comes when we learn to open our eyes and look around and take a count of the innumerable feetless people crawling around us. It’s just that we all carry our own loads; only when we try to lift other people loads that we realize that god has given us only what we can carry. Let’s face it ; life might be a tough journey but it’s up to us to face up to it .I guess in the long run we’ll realize for sure that the “ Juice Is Worth The Squeeze”

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Make Way For the Mallu Brigade

I heard the term Fraud Mallu for the first time in Bangalore during my 6 month long tenure in Dell

Official definition: A hip and happening group of the “yo” clan who has set their foot outside the Kerala border and has the lethal ability to murder the mallu mother tongue.

My Definition: A bunch of loosers who find great pleasure in masquerading around as if he/she has just been imported from the West and who has this pre notched up notion that every sentence in the English language has to start with Yo .

Yo wazzup dude? Yo am hungry! Yo what time is it ?


I say it’s pathetic; malayalees of all people have this big problem in

I ve seen it happen ; in the 6 months that I was in Bangalore I ve seen mallu guys who would go to any extend to prove that they are not a Mallu or at least to establish that they are a Fraud Mallu.

For a lot of the mallu youths of today am talking exclusively about the Yo clan .there are 3 types of people

The hip n happening – All people (tamilians ,kannadigas,telugites,assamese, ,the brits, Americans ,the Eskimo , the pygmies) basically am talking bout all other tribes other than a malayalee .

The fraud mallu – this is the guy who takes great pain in mugging all the latest slang’s, the latest Hollywood movies and the guy who feels that it’s ok if they don’t know who Manmohan Singh is but to not know who Freddie Mercury is ; or to not know Slash would be a crime against humanity.

The asli mallu – Well for the ‘ Yo’ clan this is the lowest form of life ; well they club the asli mallu with rich and traditional forms of lives like bacteria or amoeba ….



Yup I am not kidding; the other day I was checking out the Fraud Mallu community in Orkut ; close to a 1700 morons have already joined the club. I was just browsing through their networks and I could find more than half a dozen familiar faces; with whom I grew up with. Ya ‘Fraud Mallu’ my ….. Oops almost lost it there.

The new age malayali kid is a chameleon you know . The good old malayali kid who thought Gucci was a kind of side dish that u had with porotha or thought that Louie Vuitton was the capital of Italy is transformed into this completely metrosexual guy that shops only at Hugo boss or wears nothing less than a Ck. All of a sudden the guy who used to have a sumptuous meal spelt out as 3 porothas and free chaar (gravy)at Kuttapan chetans thattukada will not have anything less than a Mc Donalds burger or a Mc grill sandwich.


Well I think for people like these the word Jackass suits them better than chameleon (my heart felt condolences to Jackass; sorry … but I had to compare the ‘yo’ clan to something…….!). I guess it’s pathetic as to how people tend to forget their roots so quickly . Well believe me there’s absolutely no problem with people changing with times; but forgetting where they came from is sad. And that is something I find with malayalees.not all of them ; there’s of course a vast majority of guys like me who would always be a mallu .

I hate people who try to show an attitude; believe me you morons ; theres no point trying to live your life masquerading as someone else. If you want people to respect you don’t behave like circus freaks. See culture is something that is imbibed into us . You could be wearing a Ralph Lauren shirt or a Gucci but we’ll always be who we are.

So face upto it guys either you are a Malayalee or not .Why bother with the Fraud mallu tag. Well we have a population of 33 Million proud Malayalees with backbones so at the moment we are not exactly looking for ‘Fraud Mallus’ per se .

So rest assured the ‘Yo Clan’ can now switch on M Tv or VH1 abd start mugging up the lyrics of the latest Pussycat dolls song. And maybe a small suggestion ; try changing the name to “Duffer mallus” well suits you guys more than the “Fraud mallu” tag nwayzzzzz…

Friday, May 26, 2006

Monday, May 08, 2006

In The Name Of Love


The most fascinating thing about women is that you never tend to understand them .A womens mind is like an unfathomable abyss. It is just not possible to reach its bottom. Right from the time of the first prototype ----EVE --- the theory holds true. Women are like pot or marijuana ; you are bound to get addicted ……So one has to learn how to get along and enjoy the ride .But it’s no merry go round ; the ride’s more like a rollercoaster-bumpy and rough. Well I don’t mean to objectify women or tag them are clones or anything through this blog but it’s really hard to make a woman completely happy ; it’s as hard as building a space station or creating nuclear fusion----it’s all possible in theory but when it comes to real life you’ll be left with your mouth wide open and an empty pocket. Well I do feel am too young to comment on a topic like this .But what the heck I am bored and well I did survive this wily old world for 24 long years right . So here are a few pointers to all those poor wily old souls who have fallen for one of em




1) ----> The Art Of Lying

There’s a Sanskrit saying which says Satyam Vadha ,Asatyam Na Vadha , Appriyam Satyam Na VAdha ; which means always say the truth , never say lies ; but most important of all never say unpleasant truths. Well I hear that in a relationship one should be open like a book but hey don’t all the books have pages that are stuck together;. Well there are instances when you have to lie

Let’ see ‘

You are going out .
Wife : Honey do I look ok ?
Hus : (don’t even look; just say) --à God you look fabulous .

The girl comes home after shopping

Wife : Honey do you think I spent too much on this dress
Hus : (Forget the bill dude ; c mon you can worry about it when your credit card bill comes ; after all it’s not all that tough to get personal loans these days ; so just blurt out )
--à Gosh absolutely no dear .Infact I feel that that was quite a buy.

2) -----> The Art Of Staying Awake

Yup of course I mean it .You know girls have this tendancy to go on and on about things that we don’t even care out. And it‘s not long before that the girl realizes that you have been sitting there sleeping with your eyes open. So guys that’s where you need to wake up youself once in a while ‘ just to catch hold of the “ Keywords” .Beleive me that should do ; so that even if you get caught you will have a lifeline .


eg:

Between yet another conversation

Girl: God! are you even listening to me ?
Guy: Oh sure ; I am honey

Girl: Oh ya then what the hell was I talking bout
Guy : ahem ahem ya about that girl Simone in your office .
Girl : Ya ok then

Gist : Keywords – Simone and office


3) ------->
Handling The Silent Treatment

One thing I’ve always noticed about girls is the way they use the biggest weapon in their hold -- -Silence. When a girls decides to play it mum guys beware ; it’s just the lull before the storm or should I say Tornado. Infact just the other day I was talking bout this with some of my friends and hell ya even the girls seemed to agree. It’s like the Da Vinci code – kinda impossible to crack .Remember

A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon. ~Arnold Haultain


Well boys will be boys and if we get mad I guess we let the whole world get a piece of our mind.

4) ------> Eves don’t forget


Well dudes when it comes to life a woman is like a Berewolf Cluster/NVRAM– unlimited memory , and that too a non volatile one >So never ever mess with a woman’s feelings. Because all the maska and chaska won’t get you out of this. The truth about women is that they never forget. You mess with their feelings once and man you are dead meat.





5) ------> The art of maska chaska

Always a thing to remember; when in love carry a whole carton of butter in your pocket and when needed apply judiciously. It’s the ultimate cure for all ailments of a girls heart.
You master the art and you are god.It’s part of the whole deal guys .why else do you think all those poor husbands refer to their “loving” wives as their “Better Half”.




Well I’ve got to stop for I have already incurred the wrath of a multitude of good hearted maidens.

PS: I do not endorse any of the views put forward by the author of this article because women are the embodiment of love and care. Coz as they say

Sure God created man before woman. But then you always make a rough draft before the final masterpiece.

[ hey guys look at me using rules 5 and 1 ; well you get the picture right ?

Thursday, March 09, 2006

All About Nothing



As usual its quite late into the night and am bored to the core. You know am turning into some kinda nocturnal creature who just can’t seem to sleep until the rooster crows. Well it suits me well I guess. It really seems I am giving Sandman a run for his money. Speaking of Sandman takes me back to a time back in my school days when our band used to belt out Metallica’s Enter Sandman. Oooh it still gives me Goosebumps. Still remember performing it on stage with the girls shouting out for an encore .Those were the days when I was the Lars Ulrich of our school.


Still remember how all the girls used to call me SHADES; you know the drummer from The Wonders .The movie had just been released and the song “That Thing You DO “was a runaway hit . Boy could I play the drums for that song or what .I still remember playing that bit with the Floor Toms of my drums ; although it took me a coupla months to learn how to get the same sound …

Well I almost forgot; all of ya must be asking to yourself what the title has got to do with this post. Well its right on .This post is about nothing .I’ am bored and have been rattling my brain for a while now to write something down and believe me I’ am out of any ideas .Still guys gimme a break will ya ; I made it to my third Para yapping about virtually nothing . None of us actually don’t even spare a thought about nothing. You just don’t find articles on nothing or books or journals being written about it . I bet all of us thinks bout it all the time . I bet no one can ever say no to this . Lemme paint a picture for u and lets see if it rings a bell.....

Guys, do u remember taking your girl out for lunch or a coffee and you are staring at the pretty chick sitting at the next table and your gal asks u “ Hey honey watchya lookin at ?
And pronto u’ll say : “ oh nothing dear “

Or to throw in another instance you are sitting with your girl and she’s goin on and on about how she spent the day or what she shopped for or about how her friend and her boyfriend got into a fight and u kinda doze off with ur eyes open re running the movie “ Die Hard With A Vengeance “ in ur head and all of a sudden she asks u “ hey sweetheart ; watchya thinking bout “ and u bounce back with “ oh nuthin baby ; was just thinking bout us “

Well “NOTHING” to the rescue again . If you still don’t respect my tribute to “ NOTHING “ .Lemme just tell u guys one more thing …..

We came into this world with NOTHING and we leave taking NOTHING . Now that’s what I call an eternal relationship ……………….

Monday, February 20, 2006

Rang Diya Basanti


The other day I was out with my friends watching Rang De Basanti .Well the movie certainly did sweep me away. It was quite after some time that I was watching a meaningful movie of sorts .I t certainly does give all of us a thing or two to ponder about .We all read tonnes of reports about our MIG’s and Sukhov’s crashing but how many of us really spare a thought for all those heroes who pledged their lives to protect our homeland ; so that we can sleep peacefully in our beds.

Well the movie did make me think a thing or two about the kind of lives we lead. We all hear bout hideous and outrageously violations of our rights day in and day out on TV and radio and in the papers . What I ask is isn’t it time for us youths to stop dancing to the tunes of these wily politicians and step up the act.

Agreed Rang De Basanti went a bit overboard and as they all say violence is not an answer to anything .It might just trigger off further mishaps; still the movie certainly showcased one sure fact i.e. there is a limit to which people can sit and watch in muted silence as our society corrodes away like this.

I think it’s up to all us to be more responsible and take up cudgels against any kind of atrocities. To live a more fulfilling life ; hey I don’t mean to start a Green Peace or anything nor do I plan to incite a revolution ; but it’s just my way of venting out my frustrations ( ya well what a way to vent ones frustrations ; on a blog that god forbid only I will read ) . But well who cares ? Well I ‘ve read all my blogs and it ‘s really interesting and I ‘am a big fan of myself . C’mon guys gimme a break ; I need the praise ; I cannot even get anyone to put in a comment in my blog hehhehe.

Anyways I just loved Rang De Basanti . There were moments when a tear or two dropped down my eyes . And it did fire up a few thoughts in my rusty old brain too . That’s why I decided to name the blog so . Coz I definitely feel that we belong to one of the greatest countries of the whole world and what a great time to be alive too . The economy’s booming ; India’s set to be a global superpower . So it’s just all about ironing out those minor deficiencies that we have. And god willing we can do it and we have done it before . So lets hold our hand (well I prefer chicks on my either sides ) and march ahead .

Pyara Pyara Cochin Town


It was late at night and I had just come home from work. Well not my bed time yet ; it’s just 1 :00 AM ; not kidding but as far as sleep is concerned I am a zombie. Oops almost lost track .Ya I was thinking of putting up something on my blog and I found myself out of any wacky ideas. So I thought why not pen down something about my lovely city Kochi

I’ve been living in Kochi for almost 23 years now and this city has always drawn me into it’s folds . Well who wouldn’t be . I just love it so much and I really realized it when I was in Bangalore for 6 whole months . I still remember; on my first day in Dell my Team Lead asked me what I missed the most ;coming to Bangalore . I never had to ponder for too long; I really missed so many things; for instance the Marine Drive and the Chinese nets and the Chinese bridge.

On so many occasions I still remember looking out of overcrowded BMTC buses hoping against hope to catch a glimpse of a Marine Day or back water that never existed. Coming from Kochi and for that matter from Kerala the cleanliness or the lack of it of Bangalore kinda took me off guard . I still remember the hell holes like Kakdaspura ,Ramamurthy Nagar and my own Ramesh Nagar . I still remember the look on my mom’s face the very first time I took her to my house in Ramesh Nagar ; hehehehhe

Just last week I was hanging out with my friends in Fort Kochi and it was so awesome ( oh here we go again ; u know there’s this thing about me and the word AWESOME ; I kinda get over excited at times and when I am I need at least a bakers dozen of the word AWESOME”S to complete it ; well my friends Shanim and Benson would certainly back me up on this – wudn’t u guys ?)

Well anyways I felt so good coming back to Cochin and with Cochin already growing out of it ‘s way to promote IT and everything the future too looks really promising . The city already house big time MNC’s like ACS(a proud ACSian myself) and OPI . With Indian biggies Wipro and TCS setting up base all of us can rest assured settle down on home turf .

Well anyways my love with cochin would not end with anytime soon.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

“Spirits” to pep up your Spirit




I was just sitting at a Lounge in kochi the other day with my friends sipping on a well made concoction of gin,vodka,pineapple and lemon nicknamed Sweet Memories that I thought of putting in a blog about how these darlings peps up ones spirit . Well sweet memories did seem to do the trick; after a couple of rounds; all of u seemed to go on a retro journey towards our good old days .

Well these days were better off ; at least we all had some cash to dish out ; I still remember sipping my first cocktail almost 3 yrs back in a pub with my friends and as to how each of us bought a different cocktails and it was one hell of a cocktail tasting ceremony ….


Anyways times have changed and so has my choices ; from the good old Bloody Mary to my present fav After Fire ; it’s been one crazy ride .Still remember dishing out 350 bucks for a Screw Driver a nasty mix of 5 poisons to quench my thirst on one crazy outing in Bangalore . Were in the real kick came in when I HAD TO SETTLE MY BILL.

Anyhoo the road seem far and wide with lots more paths to tread on ; from the ever famous Flaming Flamingo to India’s own Pattiala mix ; well the list is endless . Well c'mon these babies once in a while ; let's you see the lighter side of life .So pull up your party pants and grab em .Like in the words of the great Clement Freud
"If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer."
CHEERS

Thursday, February 02, 2006

180 nights in a call center

After completing 6 long months with Dell Inc I finally bid adieu with a longing heart . It was infact a potpouri of feelings.Partly happy about settling back home and still partly sad about leaving a the place where it all started .

From that moment on I had always wanted to pen down something about my days in Dell . And after reading Chetan Baghats "1 night at a call center" ; i just couldn't hold back anymore .

Well it was indeed a rollercoaster ride were I went through all kinds of emotions .How could i forget the dizzy night shifts , raging angry customers , crazy issues and the likes .But there were certain experinces I would never ever forget in my whole life . I still remember a blind customer that I had -- Kristy and how I virtually cried on my call not being able to help her . Sometimes you feel awful ; for the 30-40 minutes that you are on a call you tend to connect with them so much .You tend to be a part of their lives. The wifes rants on about their husbands; mothers whines and brags about their kids and don't even get me started on the males.

Some of em even look upto you as heroes . Coz for them you are the knight in the shining armour who came from nowhere to save their valuable photos ; or set their net connection right so that they can mail their grandson or watch a newborn's photo.

Well like in any story there are morons who screw up your entire day ; people who swear and blow their lid off right from the start but one happy ecstatic customer makes your day .

Well all those memories seems to overwhelm me now . But well gotta move on I guess coz bygones are bygones and in the words of Robert Frost

'The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep'