Make Way For the Mallu Brigade

I heard the term Fraud Mallu for the first time in Bangalore during my 6 month long tenure in Dell

Official definition: A hip and happening group of the “yo” clan who has set their foot outside the Kerala border and has the lethal ability to murder the mallu mother tongue.

My Definition: A bunch of loosers who find great pleasure in masquerading around as if he/she has just been imported from the West and who has this pre notched up notion that every sentence in the English language has to start with Yo .

Yo wazzup dude? Yo am hungry! Yo what time is it ?


I say it’s pathetic; malayalees of all people have this big problem in

I ve seen it happen ; in the 6 months that I was in Bangalore I ve seen mallu guys who would go to any extend to prove that they are not a Mallu or at least to establish that they are a Fraud Mallu.

For a lot of the mallu youths of today am talking exclusively about the Yo clan .there are 3 types of people

The hip n happening – All people (tamilians ,kannadigas,telugites,assamese, ,the brits, Americans ,the Eskimo , the pygmies) basically am talking bout all other tribes other than a malayalee .

The fraud mallu – this is the guy who takes great pain in mugging all the latest slang’s, the latest Hollywood movies and the guy who feels that it’s ok if they don’t know who Manmohan Singh is but to not know who Freddie Mercury is ; or to not know Slash would be a crime against humanity.

The asli mallu – Well for the ‘ Yo’ clan this is the lowest form of life ; well they club the asli mallu with rich and traditional forms of lives like bacteria or amoeba ….



Yup I am not kidding; the other day I was checking out the Fraud Mallu community in Orkut ; close to a 1700 morons have already joined the club. I was just browsing through their networks and I could find more than half a dozen familiar faces; with whom I grew up with. Ya ‘Fraud Mallu’ my ….. Oops almost lost it there.

The new age malayali kid is a chameleon you know . The good old malayali kid who thought Gucci was a kind of side dish that u had with porotha or thought that Louie Vuitton was the capital of Italy is transformed into this completely metrosexual guy that shops only at Hugo boss or wears nothing less than a Ck. All of a sudden the guy who used to have a sumptuous meal spelt out as 3 porothas and free chaar (gravy)at Kuttapan chetans thattukada will not have anything less than a Mc Donalds burger or a Mc grill sandwich.


Well I think for people like these the word Jackass suits them better than chameleon (my heart felt condolences to Jackass; sorry … but I had to compare the ‘yo’ clan to something…….!). I guess it’s pathetic as to how people tend to forget their roots so quickly . Well believe me there’s absolutely no problem with people changing with times; but forgetting where they came from is sad. And that is something I find with malayalees.not all of them ; there’s of course a vast majority of guys like me who would always be a mallu .

I hate people who try to show an attitude; believe me you morons ; theres no point trying to live your life masquerading as someone else. If you want people to respect you don’t behave like circus freaks. See culture is something that is imbibed into us . You could be wearing a Ralph Lauren shirt or a Gucci but we’ll always be who we are.

So face upto it guys either you are a Malayalee or not .Why bother with the Fraud mallu tag. Well we have a population of 33 Million proud Malayalees with backbones so at the moment we are not exactly looking for ‘Fraud Mallus’ per se .

So rest assured the ‘Yo Clan’ can now switch on M Tv or VH1 abd start mugging up the lyrics of the latest Pussycat dolls song. And maybe a small suggestion ; try changing the name to “Duffer mallus” well suits you guys more than the “Fraud mallu” tag nwayzzzzz…